FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| simpleplan13 2008-03-14 ch 1,   | I love you more today/Than I did yesterday/I’ll love you more tomorrow/Than I do today... that part seems really cliche and like it came from somewhere... did it? I dunno I just felt like you could do better When we’re old and when we’re gray... I dont think you need to repeat when, especially since that line is a bit long Saying with every breath/I’ll say that... the saying, say is a bit too repetitive That last stanza before the last chorus seemed odd to me... I liked it, but I just didn't see how it fit in with the rest of it... Ir eally loved all of it though, just together it seemed a bit odd. Anyhow nice job! |
| sunshower 2008-02-09 ch 1, | Lolol I think i know the song that inspired this... that old people part is a dead giveaway. Good job though! |