Reviews for The Trouble with Marmalade

Reviews For: The Trouble with Marmalade - Reviews: Page 1 of 16

cutepanda 2008-11-12 ch 22,	Hello, I really enjoyed reading your story although it would have been much better if my mum hadn't been yelling at me continously for me to get off the computer! Your story was just too good to stop reading and continue the day after! Your story line, although you say cliched, to me is quite original. It is really good and the way you write is very good. I missed reading about Jake in the last few chapters, I think he is the best! So kind. I really like the character Katie! I think she is the best. Please update as soon as possible! C, PS. When Markas was first introduced I already thought that he was going to be one of those mean, ruthless and somewhat "evil" characters! So now I know I guessed right!
Joi 2008-10-13 ch 21,	I'm guessing you know who I am so I'll just skip it. Truthfully, I love this version more than V.1. No offence meant. It's just that I find Katie more... mature in this version. Well, not that she was not mature in V.1 but you get what I mean. I guess you can say that this version wraps up the whole thing instead of... err... I dunno. But somehow, there is a big difference (Good one, mind you) between the previous version and the current version. So, well done! I can't wait for more chapters!! please update soon! THANKS!
JoiZ. D 2008-10-13 ch 18,	Hey there, I wrote another review but as seeing that the line wasn't stable, I'll just review another time for safety precautions. Anyways, I find it a bit confusing in the beginning of this chapter that Katie still has Markas' umbrella because, in the previous chapter I think she returned it to Markas. Well, I'm not really sure. I tend to leave some stuff as I'm a really fast reader so, forgive me if I made some foolish mistake... Ehehehee. But aside from that confusion (maybe it's just me being careless), I really like the current plotline. Good job!
ReadWriteLive 2008-10-03 ch 21,	An interesting story...but I feel there needs to be lots more background. Also, instead of him "cheating" on her by putting his hand up a girl's shirt, I'd suggest having him rape her (or at least attempt it). The way you've built it up, I'm left going "that's it?" instead of "I figured". Finally, why would Jake be jealous? If he likes her, and why would he after seeing her again 9 years later and semi-hanging out for a week, then you need to do more to make that clear. good luck!
zutaraforever181 2008-09-13 ch 22,	I certainly do like all of V.2 (because I actually kinda disliked the whole date scene), except for the fact the Mira isn't there! (gasp) I love Mira! She's so cool! But the fact that Katie did not listen to Mira showed that the friendship wasn't that strong, which is sad, 'cause I would so be friends with Mira! Of course, with V.2 we are talking about an overhaul. Hopefully everyone will read this and not be utterly confused. But, yeah, the whole soap opera vibe was not all that great. I think I'm in favor of V.2 because a) I think it would be a great improvement b) It would give me an excuse to reread it all So, I vote for V.2 Good Luck!
Lieutenant Starshine 2008-09-07 ch 22,	Hmm... Difficult decision. I think writers are most critical of their own work. I don't think she's that stupid, and I don't think it's too melodramatic. The only thing that annoys me about her right now is that she doesn't call Markas out for calling her Kate. I really want to read more as soon as possible, so I'm tempted to go for continuing version one. Then again, it's your story, and you're the one who can write it the best. Basically, as long as we see more of Jake than a flash of blonde hair sometime in the next couple chapters, I'm a happy camper. The promise of more Jake soon is basically the reason I keep reading the story. I like it, but it would be so much more fabulous with more Jake. Lieutenant Starshine
daughterofmusic 2008-09-04 ch 22,	I like version 2. I agree, the whole thing with Markas was turning a bit... soap-opera-y. I think that changing it will make it a fuller, more believable story. You are an amazing writer! Keep up the good work, whatever you decide to do. ~Music
brilliantfusion 2008-09-02 ch 22,	okay so i WOULD like to offer a nice long deep analysis of your problems, but... personally, i am completely fine with the way the story is. but if it bothers you, its your story to tell :D
N.M.B. 2008-08-31 ch 22,	Hm,I'm thinking V.2, though you could probably still add a bit more of the old one. But I think for Carolin reason for disappearing should be better. I mean she acts like, my date is kissing another girl, I can't go on in this school! Like I said before, I'd just beat the crap out of him and have the football team kick his butt (but she doesn't have the same resources as me, so I can see that not happening). Plus, it will give us more reason to kidnap Markas and torture him with fun things like Chinese water torture, or just plain Chinese torture, which is painful according to me brother (don't you just love human guinea pigs?). So in the meantime I'll wait. :P
Corinto 2008-08-31 ch 22,	Hope you will forgive me, but I’ll play the devil’s advocate... Sebastian, you mentioned that some of the dialogue between Katie, Mira and Caris would be lost. But according to what you are proposing, much of the story’s dialogue and a fair part of the characterization will be lost. On chapter 15, she’ll finish her argument with Jake and they will not talk again to this point. Up to this chapter, the bulk of her interactions were with him. After this happened, she started interacting more with the other two characters. Now she won’t have that. With these changes, I think the story will turn more introspective. Her first conversation with Caris will be tenser (Katie will already have the part), Mira will talk at her at the end of ‘Not Like You’ and also not talk to each other in ‘Playing Telephone’. In V.1, she doesn’t really talk to Jenny or Rob that much. I can’t recall if she mentioned calling home at any point. I feel the new version will make her more of a loner. Like you said, with her investigating the situation by herself, she will make herself seem smarter, which sounds good on my book. In V.1, Her accepting the date as a ‘panic response’ or some such is believable, but then she had two days to think it over, imagine how that would mess up her social circle, and still went on with it. That kind of makes me want to throw in with V.2. Now, fact remains that you can’t continue the story as it is. If you had to write something like “Not A Chapter”, it’s because you really don’t like it, and if it continues, you will quit it, right? So what I am asking here is for you to look at how the story will flow under the changes you mention (it will turn quite descriptive), and seems like we’ll miss out on a lot of characterization for Caris and Mira. That’s my two cents. Hope that helps.
Slightly Spazztic 2008-08-30 ch 22,	I think you should do V2. Because I like the ideas for V2 better than how it is now. No offence. But I really do think she's a bit too stupid and that it's a bit too melodramatic. But honestly- do whatever. I like Jake, by the way. x)
jinx89 2008-08-30 ch 22,	Well, both versions are great. But, I think you should go with the second version. Especially since you're the one writing it. I don't want you to just get bored and give up on it. ha ha! So, go for the edited version!
JoiZ. D 2008-08-30 ch 22,	Well, I thought the same too. I like both versions. But of course, since v.2 sounds interesting too, I think I'll go with it. :) Thanks a lot for making the story better, I know some of the authors don't really care at all. Hope you keep up the good work!
Roselyn Flores 2008-08-29 ch 22,	I personally think you should stick with v1, but if you deside to change it i'll probably reread it, and still like it. :) Either way I think it will be good!
VirginiaVortex 2008-08-29 ch 22,	I agree with you. If a writer is not pleased with the direction a story is taking, it comes out in the writing.

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