Reviews for Sombra Mundus - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Sombra Mundus

SamanthaNicole 2008-05-09 ch 2,	abuseYou know, I just realized that this was categorized as part fantasy. Hmm. Also, I can't see why this doesn't have more reviews. You've done a really good job of writing it, and the plot is interesting. It's a shame when well-written stories go unnoticed. I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed when I didn't get to find out what happened to Mina, but I was so easily swept up in this separate plot that it didn't really matter. Either way, I find this story really interesting. I have to give you credit. I've had this idea for a fantasy story for a while, but I just can't bring myself to write it. Fantasy allows for so much freedom as a writer because you can create a world all your own, and yet I just can't seem to do that, haha. In any case, this is pretty cool. I think I'll post a link to it on the FP facebook group to see if I can get you some more reviews, because it deserves them. Cheers, Sammy
SamanthaNicole 2008-05-09 ch 1,	abuseInteresting title. I don't suppose you'd be willing to explain what it means? :-p This is really well-written! It's interesting, the characters seem pretty cool, though we still don't know much about any of them, and I'm left wondering why Mina's father didn't move with them. I'm sure that will be explained, though. And the ending? I totally didn't see that coming! Very, very clever of you, because now I need to know what happened. Mina's favorite sport is archery, which I'm assuming comes from your own love as well. If so, very, very cool! One suggestion I'd make, though, is to separate this chapter with a few breaks. There's a point where it goes from Mina sitting in her room to being in the lunch line, and there's no indication that time passed. There's a page-break button in the editing section, or you could just hit enter, type a few dashes, and be good to go. It would definitely help to avoid any confusion. Also, you said that it was six weeks into the semester, but that it was already November, which really wouldn't make sense. School usually starts in September, so six weeks in would place this around mid-October. But I could just be nit-picking, and if I am, I'm sorry. It was just meant as a suggestion. Good job - keep it up! Love, Sammy
lesa 2008-05-03 ch 1, anon.	abuseI think this story is really well written KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK x0x0x

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