I don't have much to say about this chapter. I think it's kind of a transition into the next part where we will (hopefully) get to see April and Jake together. Of course, you could tease us and stretch it out a little bit longer, which would be understandable and make me giggle at your cleverness.

Nice work. I look forward to reading more.

I like how you switch the focus of the story from one character to another, but you keep the third person POV. I kind of like stories that do that. When I write, I tend to focus all on one person without venturing out, and it can get a bit tiresome. But you make use of third person perspective and show us how, as the writer, you know all. Yay!

Nice work with this one. There was a minor grammar/word choice thing I noticed, but I am going to stop being a nerd for five seconds and just let it go. It wasn't a big deal anyway.

Interesting beginning to a story you have here (speak like Yoda, apparently I do). HA! No, really, it's cute so far. One thing that jumped out at me (only because I am a speech/language teacher and I tend to notice these things-I'm such a nerd) was the shifting of verb tenses during the flashback part. For example, "he asked" (past tense) followed by "he whispers" (present tense). I think you probably intended to have past tense the whole way, as the event did take place in the past.

So, I will continue reading now!

this is nice(

I may just be in a bad mood, but this wasn't working for me. Most of your writing was long sentances. I like the subject matter, but...what I don't get is April's feelings. So she's leaving him because he doesn't feel love for her, and she didn't let him know until then? ... Huh?

I might be inspired from this to write my own, though. I may read the rest, depending on things. And I feel like the lyrics weren't necessary. In fact, I skipped them. I can see if you have a couple lines, but to have a whole block of the lyrics, I just think it's a bother instead of adding to the atmosphere of the chapter.

Again, I'm really sorry if I sound pessimistic but I feel you should know what I'm feeling so you can make changes and improve. Ok? Message me if you have any questions, please! I'm only trying to help!

I really like your story. I'm not sure if your english though- anyway- just a few pointers- we say pull not snog now, snog is a bit 90's and fish and chips in London- its a bit uncommon, cream tea would be more likely. Anyway, I can't wait for more. Please update soon.

hi again! i really like your style of writing. just reading this, i'm getting a bit teary eyed. don't worry, it's not your story, i'm just a really emotional and sensitive story and i really like jake's character. and the italicized (is that like a flashback?) parts really give a lot of feeling into jake. so yeah, basically i REALLY really like this.

sorry for babbling about stupid things, just wanted to give you my opinions :D

oh how did i miss this being posted? lol hmm im really likign this... im interested in jake and the way eh responds to her comign back. lol amazing as always!

so i'm guessing this story will be switching POVs.

it's good to see from the other characters POVs too so i have a feeling that this will be a great stor.

hope you update soon!

Another fantastic fic, it's well written and I just want to read more and find out what happens next.

Also I apologise I haven't been consistently reviewing your other story, but I have been reading it, it's just that I hardly get time to review or read. I have yet to work on my fics, and I'm not even getting that done. I have courseworks going on in college so I hope you understand but do continue to update. I apologise in advance that I am not reviewing all your chapters, but I will review as soon as I get the time. Sorry, but still great new fic.

Tecna ;)

yay! i remember this story cant wait to see how uve changed it

this story seems like it'll be pretty interesting. hope you update soon! D

SSC

a good start, a bit sad, but overall, i really like this first chapter. is the next chapter gonna be already five years later? i really hope to see jake's reaction when april returns! keep me updated!

Cheesey.