I really like a lot of the comparisions in this piece. My favourite was the last line; I also loved 'why is it green?/she hates green.' and the idea of comparing their fingernails. I think the first stanza would work better if you used it as a metaphor, i.e. 'he is sweet milk chocolate/creamy and smoth and soft' because the 'he tastes like...' phrase is a little overused.

Again, I think you should take out the ending full stop. But otherwise, it's good, the way you can just put feelings into words :D

i was hoping for a long piece after reading the first chapter but the second piece tugged at me more than the first.

"and she hates her imperfections./every second hurts like/poison;/she can't look away."

I like the simile. And that's about the only thing I can really comment on, because I can't read free verse.

Hey, I like this one!

Especially the "poison;" line and "her fist spiderwebs the mirror easily".

Did she bleed? I wonder.

The lack of capitalisation is intentional, right?

XD

Maybe I'm not the poetry type, but I don't really understand it because:-

a) it seems like there are three people mentioned. The "he", "she" and "you". There's supposed to be the "he" and "she" only right?

b)"i'm not her." But of course not! He's a guy!

Right?

Or perhaps there's some deep hidden meaning...*gasp* that little people like me should not and will not ever know of... That the world has too much exposure to these days, because of teenagers!!1one!

*dramatic gasp*

I'm fine.

I like the last line though.

Have you decided to pass on the title of Grammar Nazi? You should probably punctuate the speech as well.

Well, I like the first paragraph the most, although the 'she tasted' part sounded weird - isn't it what she liked? -is lost-

Anyway. Continue the fairytale one or meet the wrath of up-there.