 Pythzilla 2008-02-03 . chapter 1The entire last ten lines are solid gold. And for some concrit, because I would shame my poor dear editor's heart if I did nothing but squee over your poetry 24/7: Check the rhythm of the first line. It scans a little odd to me. I feel like "For so long as it dares not" would fit the rest of the poem better. Something to think about. |