Reviews for Examination at the River Lethe

Reviews For: Examination at the River Lethe

Allesandra Thornbird 2008-02-19 ch 1,	abuseI think a reader's interest depends on their familiarity with the content and their taste in subject matter. As a person who is adequately versed in mythology and philosophy, I find this piece to be interesting an thought provoking. Though, I confess, the river Lethe has long been one of my personal fascinations. I do not feel like this piece smacks of "bourgois angst"; perhaps if that other reader felt the same interest in Lethe as me they would think differently. As to using this piece for an application, I believe that it is safe to assume that whoever reviewing the application will know about Lethe and should understand your general point. The writing is very good - simple and direct, which I believe is in keeping witht the subject matter.
Malissa Michelle White 2008-02-08 ch 1,	abuseI think the concept is interesting, and you draw very strong allusions to mythology, which do come naturally. I think this could be an interesting assignment, but i think the execution is where you run into a few problems: there is a tendency to state facts in your writing, so much that it becomes a list of events. Also, you become too vague in areas, and too specific in others. Then, you're ending is too sudden: "i opened my eyes" feels a little rushed and not very natural. Overall, it came off a little dry. Here are some (hopefully) useful tips: write from a fantasy fiction perspective by adding more description. Fantasy writing often spends a lot of time developing particular aspects of a piece of background that may be important to plot. In your piece, take your time examining the key elements in the dream: the pool of light, the heat, the position of the sun, etc. Which will signal in readers that this may somehow be connected with the end. Elimiate distractors such as the fact of her beauty, the symbols, the pictures and hills as they draw attention away from your experience with the goddess. if your past life had been erased in the dream by the river Lethe, then those occurances in the dream should be in the subtext. Perhaps, you walk at home, or on the hill, you can see family members. or, perhaps, emphasize more that when you wake in the dream, you are in a hospital using description. Once you make that connection earlier, your ending won't seem so rushed. In fact, readers should immediately draw the connections you are making. And, if you're aiming for that "oohh, i see" moment from your readers, you'll have it. In all, i think it has potential, but definitely still needs a work through. Aim for story telling, not dream recounting, and i think you'll be fine.
you'll see 2008-02-04 ch 1,	abuseIt is a bit much. Who, for example, is the woman? There are several run-on setences in this, such as "A feeling... unsettling memory." I wasn't clear on who the narrator was at first. It seems rather unusual for a modern boy (modern because of the man in the white coat at the end) to immediately assume that a beautiful woman is a Greek goddess. While I read some mythology, I'm afraid I've never heard of Perdix before.

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