FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Kenny's Friend 2008-02-04 ch 1,  | abuseWhat exactly did he do wrong? Assuming that this is a quick little story, I think that the reader needs some idea of what happened to cause the gods' wrath. "His sandals soon clacked against smooth rocks that he hadn’t known were native to the valley" ~ uh, are rocks "native" to anywhere really? Just an odd sentence to me. It's a shame you don't get more reviews - talent wasted, I tell you. Keep writing "Ken" ~ Justin |