Reviews for Pick Up Your Gun, Soldier

Reviews For: Pick Up Your Gun, Soldier

Mydnyght Sunryze Lili 2008-02-06 ch 1,	abuseWell, I'm not much of a poet so I can't really give you any useful critizism but I can tell you that your poem is very well written and I really liked it!
C. Hoogkamer 2008-02-06 ch 1,	abuseThis is a well-written piece. Though repetition can often strengthen a piece, if it is overused it will distract the reader from the content of the poem. For me, 'Pick up your gun, Soldier' being used twice in one stanza is too much. I felt like I only wanted to read half of the stanza, and found myself skipping lines to read what came after 'Pick up your gun, Soldier'. If you use this line excessively, it takes away from what you are trying to convey.
Arn 2008-02-04 ch 1,	abuseIt repeats too often, I think. Might think of new verses like I did, I tributed to soldiers too, but in a song kind of way. Unless you MEANT 'Pick up your gun, soldier' to be a chant, which I think I can accept if the general is barking at this man, which of course would hold a meaning to it. Also, it's kinda boring if you just repeat that phrase, might also want to rhyme something or the other. On a side note, you might be coming across a bit harsh. Consider, you keep repeating, 'Pick up your gun,' you may be mocking soldiers because you think they're incapable or dumb of getting it into their head the first time, you might think they need it drilled into their head until it becomes second instinct. I don't know what the big deal with this gun is, but what you're practically saying is that the soldier's life revolves around his weapons. A lot of people might disagree, saying a soldier has a heart and a family, but of course...I'm reading too far into this, stop me. Overall, I thought it was a good enough poem in itself.
WhiteRaven711 2008-02-04 ch 1,	abuseI really liked this poem...it gave me chills!! One thing i think you could work on is your rhythm...most of the time it's pretty good, but it's not always consistent. Try reading it out loud, and make sure it flows. Great job though...i really liked it. Keep up the good work!

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