| Reviews for suffering in silence |
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Midnight In Eden 2/5/08 . chapter 1Instead of having five "and"s in the first seven lines why not use some punctuation? Also, starting off with an "and" usually makes me feel like I've come into a poem that's already started and in this case I don't see why it's necessary. As such I'd really recommend getting rid of it. In the final line "I’m fine thanks,", the comma should be a period. Overall it's not bad, a little generic but it's got an appeal to those who can empathise (which is a lot of us). For an edit though, clear out those "and"s and fully punctuate this piece. Good luck, Midnight |