|Reviews for Oceans|
| ChibiEii 2/28/08 . chapter 1
Oh. Wow. I had to think about it, but... I think I get it. It's nice! ,
On the other hand, you could pay a bit more attention to the overall layout. I mean, you used no apostrophes and a poem/story's a real bitch to read like that. And you made a typo (or at least, I think it is?). I'm not trying to be offensive, just trying to help, you know, to get.. better?
And.. another thing. It could be an idea to take a dictionary, or just roam around on the internet a bit, to look for synonyms. A bit more word-creativity, if you know what I mean. More variation? It could make a real difference! _
Ah, well, I'm just trying to be helpful and it's your choice to do something with it or not. ]