FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Starfire17 2008-06-10 ch 1,  | abuseAwesome! What a wonderful idea to change the nursery rhyme into a darker themed poem. Good job on the rhyming scheme and overall flow as well as the content. |
| LucienofShadow 2008-02-24 ch 1, | abuseI love how you did this with the wolf as the narrator. I also like the portions where every other line ends in 'Red.' In fact, I like it so much that I have a recommendation. Go through the piece and try to make the lines which end in 'Red' regular. Every other line, one every three or every four, whatever you can manage. I believe that would add a lot to the power and poetry of the piece. -Lucien, from the Review Marathon [link in profile] |
| Hed in the Cloudz 2008-02-23 ch 1, | abuseAh, very conniving, on the wolf's part (I shall assume that it's the wolf speaking, whatever species he may truly be). This does seem more like him than to be so stealthy as he is in the children's version! A few of your rhymes are a bit forced (particularly the line that you ended with the word "so"-- it made no sense to me at all, sadly) but all in all I this is the best version of this tale that I've read in a long time! I'm putting it in my Fractured Faerie Tales C2-- if you mind, just PM me, and I'll remove it! -Yna, from the Review Marathon-- see the link in my profile! |
| The Reverse Edge Blade 2008-02-06 ch 1, | abuseWhoa, that was...whoa. It's hard to put the feeling into words, but your story and your rhyming was the two things that made this poem/story so good! Creating a Yin version of the "Little red riding hood" is something I've never seen before, it was really cool! The Reverse Edge Blade |