Okay I have many compliments about this story. First off you're writing style is wonderful. Very smooth and not too wordy. Second, while my parents were both in the military, I have barely any knowledge of it. You were able to write about the military, but make it understandable to the readers to they don't get confused. Bravo. The last thing is what an awesome ending for the chapter. Well, not awesome for the protagonist, but very suspenseful. :) Great chapter and I'll definitely be reading the others. As for complaints... I don't have one.

Review game!

The dialogue was excellent. It sounded authentic and didn't have flowery descriptions attached to it.

My major problem with the writing style was this punctuation problem that I picked up over and over again and it irritated me. It was that you tend to start sentences with phrases and then just run straight into the main clause. If you start a sentence with a subordinate phrase or clause, you need to have a comma between it and the main clause. I don't think I've explained this well but I've put a few examples in my "minor issues" section.

Another concern I had with your writing style is that there's a lot of jargon and that seems to obscure the plot line and, more importantly, the characters. Although there was a vague suggestion of different people's characters in the dialogue, I didn't find there was much too connect with in this chapter.

Overall, I found the prose quite difficult to read but as soon as the dialogue started, the flow improved a lot. I did struggle to read the chapter but I would probably read on just to get a clearer sense of what the story's about.

Minor issues:
Standing on the runway Marc Anderton checked his wristwatch for the fifth time in an hour. - There should be a comma between "runway" and "Marc".

At six feet tall and obviously American - This phrase reads strangely and should have a comma at the end.

he was definitely different than any of the few maintenance workers at the airport - I think "different to" is more correct than "different than".