Reviews for Caustic Chill - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Caustic Chill

Isca 2008-06-06 ch 1,	abuseExcellent word-choice!
xDancingintheRainx 2008-04-20 ch 1,	abuseThis is awesome. Your word choice is fantastic and so descriptive that it paints a phenomenal picture. The bluntness of this piece is great. Excellent work! Going on my favorites.
Gollummullog 2008-03-17 ch 1,	abuseThe bluntness of your phrases is admirable on so many levels. Somehow, you manage to make the phrase 'iron fist' unique. How can this be?! I adore your tying in the beginning to the end. It's a nice touch (that I use way too often to little/no effect DX) and it makes the reader satisfied. If not a little shocked as well. The feeling in this is incredibly portrayed. I can't suggest anything except what's mechanical - stanza 2, line 5, 'your' = 'you're', and then an apostrophe in 'heaven's' in 2-6. But it pales in comparison, honestly. No need to review in response; it was my pleasure to read your work. And you already reviewed a story of mine. -GM-
IlfirinEstel 2008-03-02 ch 1,	abuseI love the rhythm and the imagery. The italics really add to the feeling, the desparation of the piece. I like it a lot. :)
satin.x.and.x.stitches 2008-02-21 ch 1,	abuseOh my God. And you say my poetry is amazing? First off, I love the imagery and word choices in this poem. I love how it's raw and real. I can relate to it from past personal experiences, but even if I'd never dealt with it, the emotion you portray would still hit me just as hard. And yes, you're going on my favorite authors list, too. Your poems are beautiful.
Midnight In Eden 2008-02-18 ch 1,	abusePunctuation! You don't need the first comma on L1, you need a period at the end of stanza one (except it almost flows into stanza two? If it's meant to I wouldn't put a stanza break there, the transition is too awkward). Also, I think a period might work better than the comma at the end of L2. Just to give the reader pause. L4 might also flow better as "bruise again, leaving me broken". Putting the verb into action helps keep it "moving". Also perhaps hyphens might work better than the brackets on L5? Again I think a period at the end of L3 in the third stanza would be a good moment for pause. Also, "heavens" should have an apostrophe a la "heaven's". Last stanza - "meet" on L6 should be "meeting". I know I've nitpicked a lot of this piece but that's only because I do quite like it. You've got a solid poem but with some tweaks it could be perfect. Midnight
Michelladora Moon 2008-02-10 ch 1,	abuseIt's so graphic, I really like it! I enjoy the comparison from physical pain & problems to internal love. :)
Emily 2008-02-09 ch 1, anon.	abusei like this, i like the fact that u told me. even if it hurts, i needed to know. (I'm sorry, i keep screwing things over, namely u alot.) i don't know how to fix it. Anyways, this is really good, even if it is talking about this particular subject.
simpleplan13 2008-02-09 ch 1,	abuseyour killing me.. you're I love the parts in parenthesis and how you don't end them... you have som amazingly powerful images in there and some good alliteration too.. beautiful piece
memaw 2008-02-09 ch 1, anon.	abuseanother good one
purple x pen 2008-02-09 ch 1,	abusestunning! this was beautiful, it took me a while to fully understand, though im not quite sure i still do, even so i love reading this over and over again, the imagery and vocab is amazing, im sorry if you're going through a tough time, but the product is beautiful i must say, you're very creative, and the summary just took me breath away, wow..
Can't Be Saved 2008-02-08 ch 1,	abuseOMG I understand now. I can't believe she freaked!

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