FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Taltush/MeiMei 2008-02-10 ch 1,  | abuseI don't know if this is a literal heart disease, or an emotional one (because both kind of fit), but either way, it has a slightly haunting feel to it. I do think that the balance could have been a bit better, but it's quite good. Also, mistake: "I can hear the belles ringing" That should be "bells". Anyways, nice job. |
| Chalk 2008-02-08 ch 1, | abusethat was good...i liked the impression that you gave, it was excellently done..no over done adjectives, just simple words...you misspelled 'bells' there, by the way.. you could name it...um...ok, i suck at this too :P never mind. |
| Leito 2008-02-08 ch 1, | abuseIt ended quite cynically, though... If I may, I actually wrote up a sort of reply to this poem. Seriously. I hope you like that one, though. It's dedicated to people with diseases such as mentioned, and I somehow know how part of it would feel, since I'm related to quite a few, and have said goodbye to some. |
| Coneyisland-Girl 2008-02-08 ch 1, | abusewhat about tea cups? for a title i mean...you know the spinning..the sick feeling..its like tea cups ..the ride |