May it be starting to come out... this line seemed awkward... I'd change it.. "Maybe it's starting.." just a thought
You've seemed to have polised yourself off.. polished

I liked it a lot.. it had a great message and was really well done... I especially loved the ending.. the only thing is it seemed a bit wordy in spots... like "
You've seemed to have polised yourself off.. polished" You've polished yourself says basically the same thing but shorter which fits better with the lines around it.. just a thought...

Anyhow really great piece

I particularly like the last couple of lines.
But the whole thing rings true.