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Reviews For: More Than Meets The Ears - Reviews: Page 1 of 4

Imaginary Parachute
2008-08-08
ch 4,
abuseOK, so here's my overall impression on this lovely short story:

First of all, I adore your characters, but I think all of them could have used more development. Ryan is Natalie's best friend, but he has a very small part compared to Hunter. As for Kenny, Hutch, Brad, and Sean, their roles were hardly even mentionable. Natalie's back-story and family life are a mystery, as is the reason behind why Hunter is the way he is. They all hold the potential to be a really great ensemble cast, but this story is so short as to only give each of them opportunity to show one single facet of their personalities.

You have some truly stunning prose thrown in here. And I don't mean "for a FP writer" or "for this type of story"--it's just plain skillfully-wrought prose. I think you could even do more of that, if you really wanted to; you've got more opportunity than you think to really unfold.

I love Hunter and Natalie's relationship. It's gentle and quiet and, best of all, subtle. Admittedly, I did see a little disjoint in between Hunter resenting her and suddenly liking her a lot. I don't think there has to be any huge change to the story; instead, I felt that perhaps there should be one more chapter, perhaps between the second and the third. It seems that more time should have elapsed to give their relationship more depth.

This is truly a very well-written story. You've added unique, not necessarily expected depths to a more familiar plot. You should be proud of this story; well done.
Imaginary Parachute
2008-08-08
ch 2,
abuseMe again!

Ah! I love the first paragraph. Descriptions are my favorite things to read--descriptions of places, weather, characters--you name it. Beautiful.

This isn't necessarily a criticism so much as just an observation thus far: Hunter is a little stereotypical. He's dark and scary and plays an instrument, and beyond that, he's defensive and wants to take on the world by himself. The character mold itself is an intriguing one, but I'd love to see it broken.

I love Natalie's sarcasm. It does the heart good to see a main character who has a firm grasp on the ironic. It's excellent that you've given your protagonist some backbone.

Ehh...The "bash your face in" line was a little cliched, a little action movie. It conflicts with the sort of aloof, intense image you've given Hunter. He's such a great character, and he doesn't need to say things like that to give him that dark sort of power.

Excellent use of the cliffie. Well done. I love a well-executed ending like that.
Imaginary Parachute
2008-08-07
ch 1,
abuseOK, first off, I must say that I love this being centered on a ska band for once! Band fics are fun to read, but it seems like the band in question is ALWAYS an emo rock group. Not that I don't love emo, but...ska! Right on.

I like that Natalie was the one who did want Hunter in the band--ergo he didn't overhear her badmouthing him--although it does sort of lessen the need to overcome that possible complication to the story. That sounded odd: I meant that it simplifies their initial relationship. But this is a short story, so I understand your desire not to make the storyline completely convoluted from the get-go.

The descriptions of the other prospective drummers are classic. Tao the aging hippie is my personal favorite. Although I must say that the line, "He had been playing 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' for about ten minutes," was laugh-out-loud funny.

I will admit that I'm a little confused by all the band members. That was a lot of names to introduce in one chapter without really giving us too many specific characteristics to go on. BUT as I said, I love the fact that it's a ska band, and ska bands have to have horns, obviously. So I'll just look for more about them in the following chapters.

Speaking of which...
Green Eyed Angel
2008-08-05
ch 4,
abuseOk, I totally love this story. Hunter... hmm... I think I like him :D
Kjersti
2008-06-04
ch 4, anon.
abuseJust one word: Aw! :)

Oh, and you write really well. I loved this.
commitmentphobe
2008-05-03
ch 4,
abuseawesome! >.< I love it when people write stories like this, where it turns out this guy everyone thinks is a huge badass delinquent ISN'T, and he's not some stupid bad-boy either, he's just bad with people.

And I can totally relate with the whole secretly loving chick flicks thing. Not all of 'em, but She's the Man is my favorite movie ever. And my entire family thinks I'm this cynical, cold hearted romance killer. I have a reputation to maintain... it's a good thing they don't read my favorite list, or my cover would be blown. :P
Cecilyatheart
2008-04-22
ch 4,
abuseI like this story. The pancake part was so hilarious!
d666lisa
2008-04-20
ch 4,
abuseExcellent story, I love short ones :)
fluteloop
2008-04-08
ch 4,
abuseAh...(girlish sqweak)...I loved it! I really like your style, I think I put this in my favorites! And then go read some more of your stuff...well, nice job on a work well written, and as always: WRITE ON!
fluteloop
2008-04-08
ch 3,
abuseNot too short at all! This chapter had me smiling through the entire thing! I wonder what Natilie will do now? Well, off to chapter 4!
fluteloop
2008-04-08
ch 2,
abuseIm glad Hunter decided to join! I've always loved ska! Whoo...go reel big fish! They rock! Cant wait to read the next chapter, so I think I'll do it now...
fluteloop
2008-04-08
ch 1,
abuseIt's wonderful! I know it's already all the way posted, but I can't wait to find out what happens next! You have a really great style, I like it! Well...off to read chapter two!
starlit x sky
2008-03-26
ch 4,
abuseGreat story!
Vampire Kitsune
2008-03-22
ch 4,
abuseGreat story- I like how it developed.
Essevera
2008-03-21
ch 4,
abuseNice short story :)
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