Kill the formatting please. It's so distracting and randomly placed that it makes this poem fall flat instead of highlighting anything.

Also, why not remove the brackets and the "and" and make the last three lines a separate stanza? That would give it more emphasis and solidify it as the climax.

Otherwise, it's interesting but a little bland.

Midnight

Wow, I'm going through the exact same thing right now. It sucks, doesn't it? I hope you make it through okay

Not bad, but I think the formatting distracted from the meaning of the words in places.