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| Xx-Blue-Eyed-Fey-xX 2008-03-28 ch 1, | abusei was very good. i thought the first flash back was a lil lengthy, but the second one was good. btw, r u sure this was meant to b a oneshot? i could definately see u writing some great chapters bout this. either way, nice story :] |
| Dorkie 2008-02-18 ch 1, | abuseI don't think the flashbacks are too long... they fit well. |
| renyu 2008-02-15 ch 1, anon. | abusehere's another quarter for your story i guess. i hope you get rich soon. :) btw, nice story, i liked the endng but the flashbacks were kind of to much i think i would have liked it better if u had focused more on the present situation. anyway, i like it allaround. |
| x-princessa-temnoti-x 2008-02-11 ch 1, | abuseOh. It was kind of a little confusing and not to my taste at the moment, but then again, I kind of skimmed-read, which I did for my short story assignment today too, which is kind of bad. Because short stories are so stupid and long and complex and scary. Anyways. |
| Esquirella 2008-02-11 ch 1, | abuseI found your characters very endearing and cared about what happened to them. In other words, nice job! |
| renru-no-ren 2008-02-11 ch 1, | abuseI love the way you combined the two stories together. It feels like either could have stood on their own, but blending the love story with the...what? I guess, baby love story? yeah, well, it's perfect. well done. update! |
| Escagirl 2008-02-11 ch 1, | abuseOh, it's sparkly. I likes it. |
| gummybaby 2008-02-10 ch 1, | abuseI didn't find the flashbacks too long. I was a bit confused at first, but once I hit the first flashback I realized how you'd structured the story. It was a good story, lots of action, monsters, and a baby...what else could you ask for? |