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| Nyleve Nalloc 2008-05-11 ch 5,  | abusePretty intense chapter. You're fine on the sense of the story. I usually write even later than you. =) Abortion is such a touchy subject. Does the father have the right to "keep the baby" even if the mother doesn't ? Should a woman have to consult her bf / husband? I hope that this lung cancer strike will bring Greta closer to Sean. She can be there for him. |
| Nyleve Nalloc 2008-03-29 ch 4, | abuseThis was perfect. I didn't get confused by the shifts in POV-- you did wonderful with that. I like the realism that Sean called up a lady friend to vent the frustration because, well, that's what men do. Very good chap. Can't wait for more! |
| 18crazybanana 2008-03-09 ch 3, | abuseGreta needs to lighten up. I like Sean, why can't she see he's a cool guy! Great chapter, I love the development because I just know it is going to hit her like a ton of bricks when she admits to herself and everyone else that she likes him, and he isn't such a bad guy. Update soon, PLEASE |
| Linece 2008-03-09 ch 3, | abuseNice story~ ♥ I want to rad more. I'm curious about why she left him... He seems like a hot guy and he's in love with her. She's a fool! *laughs* And Nikki and Jim, that roxs! *winks* I want to see him grindin' ! Must be fun ;) Keep it on! |
| Nyleve Nalloc 2008-03-08 ch 3, | abuseLove the concept. Good writing style. I just have one tiny problem; POV. When you shift POV at almost every paragraph that makes it uncomfortable to read a little. It's almost better to just have breaks and longer lengths in one character's POV than be shifting so much. And Jim, Nikki, Sean, and Greta's POV in all? That had me a little dazed. But, I -cannot- wait to see more of Sean and Greta. Update soon! |
| vio923 2008-03-08 ch 3, | abuseNot sure what to make of the characters. Sean makes a date with Suzi then dumps her at the party to make out with other women -- not very nice. Greta left Sean without any explanation, they finally see each other again -- go out and he doesn't ask her why she left? That's not very realistic. Most people would want to know why the other person left without saying anything. |
| 18crazybanana 2008-03-05 ch 2, | abuseOu, left with a cliff hanger! LOL. I can't wait for more, I hope you're able to update soon. This is good. I like Greta and Sean's chemistry so far, and I think you're going to put Jim and Nikki togethr, but thats just in my opinion lol. UPdate soon! |
| 18crazybanana 2008-03-05 ch 1, | abuseI like this so far. I hope it doesn't turn out to be some cliché like all the other stories like this. But I'am definitely liking this so far. I'm going to read chapter 2 and tell you what I think. |
| Nyleve Nalloc 2008-02-10 ch 1, | abuseI am interested. Good start. Update soon! (= |