You have some interesting ideas in this piece and others I've read. I feel, though, that some of it are the ideas and not the pieces that you've shared.

More showing, less telling. The content is there, I just think you have the ability to show it without simply saying it. Instead of writing that it's "definitely attention", show that in a line that's an action or a gesture. Make it to where we have to read the entire piece to feel the conclusion you've come to.

You know what I mean? I had an instructor in my creative writing class that gave us objects and feelings -- and then told us to write a piece about that object or feeling where the subject was never ever mentioned or given. Like, describe a building with different points of view/perspective and get the reader to see that and understand the speaker without saying it's a woman just come from a funeral staring at the mortuary her husband lies in.

:) I'm enjoying your pieces. Thank you.

I like the idea of wanting attention or the person.. it's a great question that I can relate too... I also really like the second to last line...

Thanks for the review!

Sort of confusing and short.