I really like how you repeat the one line the same until the very last line, but vary the other ending line each time... the winter imagery is really great as well... awesome piece

I like this but as usual I do have some suggestions.

1. In the first line, the phrase "off of" reads quite awkwardly and the first time I read it I subconsciously replaced "of" with "the". It just flows better.
2. I'm not sure about the "steam drifts off grates" in the second stanza. It seems tacked on instead of adding something new.
3. "nearly frozen" seems too verbose (yeah I know, it's two words but whatever) for the description. Simply one adjective would suffice.
4. Kill the exclamation mark after the "Thud" and "move less", to be honest they made me giggle a little.
5. You're a little hyphen happy. There are other ways of illustrating a parenthetic element but I'm also wondering if you have too many? There's one in virtually every stanza and I'm not sure that they are all necessary.

I will say this though, I like the "dreams billow out of grates", that's good repetition. One of very few examples that I've seen.

My comments are mostly nitpicks but I think with some tweaking this could be almost done. Nice work.

Midnight