Frac told me to give the freebie review that she won to you, so here you go!

This is very good for your first posted story. This was a very interesting, modern twist on the story of Cinderella. Modern Cinderella stories can very easily end up very crappy (ex. the movie A Cinderella Story), but yours was very thought out, well-written, and unique. A mentally ill Cinderella? I've deffinately never seen that before, and you pulled it off brilliantly. In the first scene that Charm was in, I thought he was pretty cliche, but you deffinately proved me wrong later. His impatience with Celia began to show some more depth to his character and revealed that, like any normal person, he had plenty of faults. Your ending was too perfect for words. The parallel you drew of her time running out was simply amazing. It stayed true to the original Cinderella story while giving it a modern, morbid twist. Hm... the only fault that really sticks out in my mind was why Celia's father chose then, of all times, to send her away. Perhaps a bit more leading up to that? Anyway, this was a very wonderful story! I'm glad that Frac directed me to your work. I'll be sure to check out some more of your stories some time.

Review Game!
Wow... this was really poignant. (Bad word, I can't think of another one!) I loved this phrase: "her white uniform fluttering behind her, a small bird without wings, trying desperately to fly". That not only gave a clear picture of how Celia looked at this time, but how Celia's character was overall.
I didn't like the beginning as much. You had some run-on sentences, and it rang kind of wrong for me.
But it was great! I really loved it! It was chilling and beautiful and poignant!

This is really good; the descriptions are effective and the characters interesting. Such a sad ending though *sniffles*.