FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| empathic life 2008-07-14 ch 1,  | abuseI really enjoyed reading this piece. I especially liked how close it is to your heart... The passion and struggle was tangible. It's hard to write something so personal and still make it gorgeous, and you did it... All of your descriptions were so vividly imaginative, and I adore how you appealed to all the senses so subtly... I disagree with your other reader about the lyrics bit. It added dimension and depth. Broke up the story a bit, re-caught my attention, and sort of summed up the entire poem... So yes. I approve. Gorgeous poem. |
| Detox 2008-02-15 ch 1, | abuseNice style you have going on in this. The setup itself was different from the poems I've read on here which was good. I'm not sure if adding that Three Days Grace lyric added more to the poem...it seemed to break the overall flow, I'd drop it if I were you...just a suggestion though. Nice job on this though. |