Obviously, you're an extremely talented writer. Let's start with that. I like the last five lines a bunch, but the first part, though beautifully and descriptively written, is a bit cliche.

The end is very nice.

Ooh, awesome theme. I really like most of it. I think the couplet could maybe use some fixing up.. the rhythm seems a little off and the rhyme isn't perfect (although it doesn't have to be). You might also consider changing "it to our race gave birth" to "to our race it gave birth," although maybe that's just me. It's a really good poem, though. =)