...wow.
I feel your comma-induced pain. language is a wonderful thing. we all take it too much for granted, I suppose. but to able to speak, and have someone understand the words, and to write...poetic prose! I love your unpoem, and the very unpoeminess of it. thanks.

Other than the fact that you stole my poem title, it's good.. =P I find the long grammarless paragraphs hard to read, but that's partly the fault of FP's formatting. But yeah, I definitely know what you mean with "I want it now" and the burning in your chest, yes. =)

So, you didn't feel like writing a poem? It's a bit annoying, in school or something, when they tell you to write, no matter if you have any inspiration for the poem or story. Write it anyway, they say, and as long as they like it, it doesn't matter if the words are dead. Lucky you, for finding your words. I have no end of trouble with that.

Sadly, you don't get much feedback on FP. But you have me. I liked the negative attitude you displayed toward grammar. She's a ** and her and I have been fighting with each other for years.