FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Sarah Allie 2008-02-23 ch 1,  | abuseI think you meant to say, "The things that they sing," instead of, "he things that they sing," in the third stanza. I especially like the fourth and fifth stanzas, seeing as the rhyming/flow/rhythm of them is great! The whole poem just -screams- eloquence, and I think I fell in love with it :P! GREAT job :D! Sarah :) x The Review Game |
| angel953 2008-02-22 ch 1, | abuseWOW! I don't even know what to say besides YES! This is just...yes..I can't describe it I just love it!! (i know "yes" doesn't quite ddescribe it either but oh well) this is everything pulled into one piece. I love it! Definitely added to my favorites. |
| Deets 2008-02-20 ch 1, | abuseI like this poem a lot. Everything flows really well. There is a typo in the beginning of the third line of the third stanza - the instead of he - but other than that it looks good. The only line I though almost didn't fit (just my opinion, maybe it was intended to stand out, since it was in italics), was "Let the rain suffuse me". It broke the flow of the poem for me. |
| Equilibrium 2008-02-18 ch 1, | abuseThis was really nice. I'm not usually much of a poetry person, but I was really impressed. I particularly like the form of the poem. Interspersing the tercets and single lines between the quatrains of alternate rhyme/ chiastic rhyme (?) makes the shorter lines more potent. One thing to improve on, though, might be the use of more powerful descriptive words to convey the emotions you're trying to express. But other than that, it was brilliant. Keep it up. |
| TwistedDreamz 2008-02-16 ch 1, | abuseI really like the style you use in your writing, I'm not even sure what it is exactly... I like the way you tie in your themes though, its just really nice. There are some specific lines and stanzas in here that are really nice! 'Your lonely, sweet pain Your misery, your sorrow Will always be there For the verge of tomorrow' 'I let it take me I let it pervade me I want to forget what I know' Those 2 for example I really like :D This one flows quite well, which really adds to the poem overall. Great job :D And thank you very much for your reviews too ^^ I really appreciate them. |