FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Laurena 2008-03-12 ch 1,  | abusehey its funny how we both have poems called numb but they are like polar opposites...it funny... |
| simpleplan13 2008-02-23 ch 1, | abuseThe piece is really powerful and the descriptions are nice... I really LOVE the last line.. that was really wonderful.. awesome piece A few things: Controls now it’s will.. its I might had some more punctuation... you have it is some places, but not others and I found where there were commas and periods it was a bit easier to follow But as is its a beautiful piece PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon... there's a link in my profile |
| ilovetheopera 2008-02-19 ch 1, | abusegosh that was really emo. a lot fo graphic description. i wouldn't call it imagery exactly. more like, yeah, just emo. spotted a grammar mistake: 'Controls now it’s will'- its, not it's. on the whole the poem lacks structure, to me. it was quite hard to read, and i couldn't imagine it being read aloud. not very communicative in that sense. the last line was a good shock though. imo you should probably focus on acheiving better structure and flow in your poems. emo poems dont always have to include short lines and graphic mentions of blood, knives, the works. i'm awfully sorry that i can't return the compliment you paid me on new age saint valentine, but i haven't read your other works so.. umm just keep working on it! |
| The Prettiest Banana 2008-02-16 ch 1, | abuseOh. Wow. Such beautiful imagery. You portray the pain so well. And that last stanza.. wow. What a perfect way to end it. Bravo! This is beautiful. |