FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Eminie 2008-02-20 ch 1,  | abuseI loved this poem. You've painted a vivid expression of this girl's feeling or rather your feeling towards hers. Nice job! |
| Jon Blue 2008-02-17 ch 1, | abusehmm do you really mean crash, or crush? that's a nice little change in metaphor and meaning though, and we all still understand what you mean...I don't like the ending. ruins everything, I think you should end it without following rhyme that would twist it and shift the poem so that you feel the change in the voice's thoughts and feelings, plus it doesn't quite make sense with the "too" tagged on at the end. but anyway keep it up, hope to see some more work from you. |