Ooh. Wow. I really like this. The imagery you put into this is really good. :D

Wow. I really liked this. Your language was so pretty. I really liked how you would use a metaphor or image, and then play on it some more, rather than letting it hang. You mention her feeling like a puppet, then you refer to her as a puppet.

My only critique is when you talk about everything falling to the floor with a thud. I don't think that scarves and hats thud. And then later, you talk about the chocolate falling soundlessly to the floor. I don't think that is possible. Perhaps some little rapping or something would be better.

But this was great. I really liked it. Congrats on a wonderful piece of work!

~GryphonFledgling