Reviews for An Analysis On Analyzation

Reviews For: An Analysis On Analyzation

groovacious 2008-02-19 ch 1,	abuseI liked it...I'm not sure what else to say.
Fractured Illusion 2008-02-19 ch 1,	abuseI'm quite charmed by the fact that your grammar and spelling seems impeccable. You even put commas around "though" which not many know/remember to do (not even I, sometimes!). Some mistakes, though: "playmates (Though" I believe there should be a comma after though, you see. I was taught that, anyhow. Your word choices are quite extravagant. "Insurmountable"? "Dragonesque"? This comes as slightly awkward, as the main character is a school girl, it seems, and kids don't really talk like that. I am in no way saying your writing style is wrong. I adored it, it gave this piece character in a good way. But there were few words here and there that were too eloquent to be seen as natural, even for this piece. Generally, though, I percieved the main character to have a rather weird way of carrying her words. But like I said: there are limits. "All questions he would ask, and" It is strangely worded, I have to say. Try "Despite all the questions he would ask, I wasn't sure I could answer all of them" "Not even for my – cringe – best friend" I don't like the "cringe" part. I'd rather you illustrate with your words how she feels like cringing at such a sentimental acknowledgment. Not just flat out write it in such a way. You have a great start here. For your writing "career" here on FP, I mean. The mere title drew me in, and the piece itself made me stay. I think it was of good quality too, so be proud. I have to comment a bit on the characters, too. I liked them both, and their relationship, and the little of their interaction. I would have loved to see more of them. For me, it was also a relateable scenario. The ending left me wanting more - in a bad way. It didn't quite seem like an ending. Sure, they became friends again, but his emotional drama still doesn't seem resolved. Maybe it was and I just couldn't notice. In that case, ignore me. Still, a very good piece. Keep it up! - Frac
The MS Excursion 2008-02-19 ch 1,	abuseYou held my interest, lovie. Today that seems nearly impossible..

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