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Reviews For: Burned up

Maranwe Telrunya
2008-09-20
ch 1,
abuseSad and pretty.

~Maranwe
Hoodwynk
2008-02-19
ch 1,
abusedarkened rain- nice; love lost is horrible; nice poem
doctor's diagnosis
2008-02-19
ch 1,
abuseImpressions: Mournful, regretfully sad.
Form: Not to be condescending, goodness knows I have my faults, but punctuation is a too-often-forgotten component of poetry these days. Combining lines and add a few periods and commas would do wonders for this.
Final Word: I think this, and you, have great potential. By your description, I don't think this happened to you personally. I started the same way, writing what I saw rather than what I felt. Try writing what you feel, if you haven't already. It comes through much better, and there is nothing more beautiful than a brutaly honest poem.
In the Rye
2008-02-19
ch 1,
abuseIt's rather boring and cliche.
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