FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Maranwe Telrunya 2008-09-20 ch 1,  | abuseSad and pretty. ~Maranwe |
| Hoodwynk 2008-02-19 ch 1, | abusedarkened rain- nice; love lost is horrible; nice poem |
| doctor's diagnosis 2008-02-19 ch 1, | abuseImpressions: Mournful, regretfully sad. Form: Not to be condescending, goodness knows I have my faults, but punctuation is a too-often-forgotten component of poetry these days. Combining lines and add a few periods and commas would do wonders for this. Final Word: I think this, and you, have great potential. By your description, I don't think this happened to you personally. I started the same way, writing what I saw rather than what I felt. Try writing what you feel, if you haven't already. It comes through much better, and there is nothing more beautiful than a brutaly honest poem. |
| In the Rye 2008-02-19 ch 1, | abuseIt's rather boring and cliche. |