FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| groovi-gal-numba1 2008-03-18 ch 1,  | abusehey! i was reading your other story and figured i'd read and reveiw this one (FIRST REVEIW! YAY!) anyway just a couple of random things: , instead of sitting their and crying your eyes out, you should go and do something it should be there not there. lol. random i know. another thing: “She’s not coming because she’s dead.” it doesn't sound entirely realistic... like i think they are more likely to say "passed away". lets face it, shes a 13 yr old kid. you need to be tactful. haha. anyway thats just a couple of random constructive critisism things. now: THIS STORY IS PRETTY FCKING SAD. poor girl. i say continue it. its cute that she's a texan in NY btw. lol. |