|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Rabukurafuto 2008-05-15 ch 4, | abuseThis chapter was a bit disorienting, but not as much as the first. Akiya sure surprised me by suddenly crying like that. I wouldn't know what to do either. I like how Luka is an outright masochist, something I don't see often in fiction. Well, I guess this is the end of the story. We didn't find out about the second person from the dream. But I'll be waiting for the rewrite. Hopefully everything will be answered in time then. |
| Rabukurafuto 2008-05-15 ch 3, | abuseThat was rather abrupt. This time, I think it might've have benifited from being merged with the following chapter. But maybe that's the kind kind of thing the rewrite will correct. |
| Rabukurafuto 2008-05-15 ch 2, | abuseYes, sometimes writing long chapters just feels impossible. The end just happens to be a little closer to the beginning than some other chapters! We can't help that! You certainly have a way with description though that I find hypnotic. I feel it all from your words, from the griminess of High Oaks Foster Home to the spittle from the maths teacher to the all-too perfect beauty of Akiya. If you see room for improvement then the rewrite is going to be a masterpiece. |
| Rabukurafuto 2008-05-15 ch 1, | abuseWell, that was short but delightful disorienting. It was a good beginning, but let's see what the rest of the story is like! |
| Melissa Norvell 2008-03-02 ch 4, | abuseBeautifully written. I love the way you describe things in this story. You have a truly unique way of telling stories here and you are quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. I'll definitely be back next week for an update. |
| Takiyana 2008-02-29 ch 4, | abuseso...Akiya was Luka's brother? Ew. well written none the less. |
| Sabbathiel 2008-02-28 ch 4, | abuseAwwh, poor Akiya. D: Another wonderful chapter, looking forward to the next. c: |
| Sabbathiel 2008-02-25 ch 3, | abuseI just love your descriptions, how they're not long winded, but still have just the right amount of adjectives in them to give the reader clear picture of what's happening. Keep up the good work and I hope the next chapter is up soon. c: |
| eyes-of-a-shinigami 2008-02-24 ch 2, | abuseI just read the two chapters of your story, and wow! You're really good! And when I say really good, I mean like really, really, REALLY good!! Keep writing! I'll be waiting eagerly for more chapters!! |
| Melissa Norvell 2008-02-23 ch 1, | abuseYou know, you're quickly becoming one of my favorite authors here. *adds to faves list* I love this story just as much as I had your other. I'm glad to see that you enjoy my works as well. I just updated Sacrifice today if you wish to read on it. I definitely look forward to seeing another chapter. Your writing style is so beautiful. I love it. |
| Sabbathiel 2008-02-20 ch 1, | abuseThis story looks interesting. Please update when you can. ^^ |