I don't really get it, and it's not my type of thing, but I liked it. So, good job. It's not easy to get a dense teenager to enjoy poetry...

Peace,
Jake

I like how the whole moment, the whole conversation is contained within the span of the eclipse. At the end, with 'the light's breaking on the other side...' it's like a new beginning. Maybe it's a new era, when they leave for the war, or maybe it's a little bit of shining hope, saying that they're coming back.
Overall, I like it, and I'm going to assume that's it's not a coincidence that you posted this the night of a lunar eclipse. If it is, well, that'd be just bizarre.

Some grammar errors and the long, unbroken train of it kind of annoys me but it's not as cliched as I expected - otherwise I wouldn't be reviewing.

Don't get me wrong, it DOES have the moments where it's "okay, heard this before" but over all it brought new elements to light and you could feel the pressure on her, the distress as she tries to coax her lover to stay with her rather than join the fight.

Good job. :)

Awe, this poem is sad, but sweet. I like it & I normally hate war-based things :)