You have a wonderful writing style. Keep up the good work.

This is beautiful in its restrained angst- the shattering of a family told in fragments of light and dark.
Nice.
Erisah

I love this story- I enjoy the style with the photographic centerpieces and the disjointed narrative, and I love how distinctive the characters are.
My only critique at this point is that this section "I remember one time when I was really little, about six. Brianna was nine. Sometimes she was two years older than me, sometimes three. But I remember she was eight then, because we’d just had her birthday. Mom got home from her job fifteen minutes after my bus came, and so Bri waited for me at the bus stop." is a little unclearly worded. You might want to play with it a little.
Nice.
Erisah

So, I just read that whole entire thing. I usually don't like stories written in this format, but damn that was good. It made me cry, but it was amazing. You can definately write amazingly well.

Wow. That was such an excellent story.

I'm not going to lie, i wasn't going to read it because i'm not real big on reading M/M and F/F stuff... I mean I have nothing against gays or lesbians or anything but its just the same as i hate reading about sex... its just awkward. But i went on a whim and I read it.

I have never read anything more beautifully written.

I loved how you jumbled up the story line with the "plot line" and past memories and the beautiful pictures that you described so wonderfully that i could picture them perfectly.

I loved the repetition of "Question" and how those questions helped to develop the characters and the plotline.

I think my favorite part though was how you saved saying that Brian was Brianna until just that point where the reader was like wait... how many kids are there? What are there names? and were a lil bit confused with who was who.

It was perfect.

You are an excellent writer and you definately should get this published. Good luck!

Wow...Beautiful...Truly beautiful...

I cannot say more; for I am at lost for words...Sad story, good story...life...

Thank you.

okay this is one of the saddest stories i have read,
and also one of the best,
i cried,
='[

You always keep me up long past my bedtime.
Beautiful piece of work. This should definitely be in any fiction portfolios you have.

Simply wonderful... That's all I can think to say.

It's complete??

woah

wow...if you do get this published let me know.

Another amazing chapter. I wish I had the capacity to write like this.

It is always a pain to read this story... it's simply too full of emotions and I'm afraid I'm almost moved to tears and I can't have that since I read FP when I'm usually at work... don't want to eplain why my eyes are misty and red... hehehehe...

You have a gift with words, intense and raw emotions are incorporated in your short chapters... it's rather effective...

The things one does out of ignorance (I firmly believe that homophobia is merely a product of misinformation and or a lack of social sophistication)...I feel so sorry for those that Brianna left behind...