Interesting concept. I especially like the chorus.

i think it reflects the way society deals with things. how they just don't like to accept change. very deep. i love it.

-Review Game!

I really like how this is in a song form, it adds a really good appeal to the poem itself. I would like it if you put the chorus in again where you said "CHORUS" just because I always had to scroll up and read it again to get it back in my head. I loved where you went with it, though, and I especially liked how you asked "what would you do?" it really brought me into the poem that much more. I loved the entire theme, of it nice work.

One thing: Some of the rhymes seemed a tad bit forced (not very many though)

Very nice!
~BJ

Review Game! =)

There's a small typo at "He's whishing his little angel". It should be 'wishing'.

Please don't take my word for it when it comes to punctuation, but I think there should be one at "They live a good life(,) just the three of them". The word choice and rhythm in this piece is very nice - I loved it!

I also like how this talks about everyday lives as some TV shows tell. 'Nothing is what it seems' is this what your topic was about? If so, you did a great job on this. The chorus creates a very nice effect on the piece. Another thing I liked was the way you keep re-addressing the issues in the chorus.

This is one of those 'sad, but true' songs. Now, if someone can make up a catchy song and sing to this. That, would truly be awesome.

Nice work!

~silv3rdr34ms

For some reason, I have a cusp of what this is about. You tell me why.

It was really good. The rythym flowed rather flawlessly and the words fit... perfectly.

"FIVE STARS AND A BIG THUMBS UP!" -lollipops.talk.to.me

Luv ya, Brie.

Call me, dearie. I'd like to talk to you. :)

I really like the whole story idea thingy... yeah... great song. Nothing I would change!

-LoL

aw brie it was SO good! thats so funny how you were a little iffy when our teacher demanded a song like that *snaps* out of us but it turned out SO AMAZING.

Review Game.

I liked this one a lot. It really shows the struggles kids have to live with when trying to appeal to their parents' or in this case parent's wishes. Bravo.

I don't see anything I would change. :)

that's a cool song with an interesting story.

I really like the chorus in this.It brings out his son and daughters personality well.
What I don't like is when you bring in "What would you do if you knew?" I think it kinda throws the piece off a bit. That's just my opinion. As my english teacher always says "If you like it, then leave it."
I hope this is helpful.

~angel953

wow
so its not even like they could talk to him about it...
very well written:)