Reviews for Hybrid - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Hybrid - Reviews: Page 1 of 8

amaryllisfaye 2008-07-24 ch 1,	abusethe only flaw i think you made was that you didnt really explain the connection between eavesdropping and being invisible - i couldnt understand how those two go together, and nor can i understand why she cant simply be invisible without having to 'hear' stuff first, it makes her powers off in a way. Eve obviously didnt have to do anything before persuading people first..so i dunno,,maybe you can fix this later? otherwise i really love your stuff!
amaryllisfaye 2008-07-24 ch 21,	abuseoh wow..what a cliffie,, definitely looking forward to a sequel if you're writing it. but whatever happens, mark and lily have to remain together and please dont make either of them cheat the other..i'll so hate you if you do that. thanks for writing this, you rock!
amandaj2351 2008-06-20 ch 5,	abuseI've only read up to chapter five but i really like this story and added it to my favorites. i love how it took a while to introduce the idea of vampires because the story actually has a plot in the beginning without it being centered around vampires. i also loved the snippets of conversations Lily would here because they were confusing but made me want to read more. great so far!
Can'tIJustBeMe 2008-06-12 ch 21,	abuseI absolutely loved it!
Tapping To Nothing 2008-06-10 ch 21,	abuseI was hooked on this story the entire day. Yes you do have grammar errors (what is the word for words that sound the same but are spelled differently) and some tense confusion, but the idea is wonderful and the plot is at the perfect speed (for me at least). A sequel would make many of us very happy puppy eyes rock on and keep writing!
Anushka 2008-06-08 ch 1,	abuseloved the whole story. Thought about it, and decided that if O has the right character, then you might go so far as to confuse Lily about Mark a little, play with the reader's mind, and then let Lily decide that Mark is the one, and then maybe kill of O. Does this review make me come out as a bloodthirsty person? let me know what you thought!
PoorEnglishArtist 2008-06-06 ch 21,	abuseThis is on my alerts 'cause of the sequel promise! Advice: look through the tenses. Yu put a lot of mixed up sentences in - I think I already mentioned this. And there are a couple of words where you use the wrong one (e.g. heals = heels), so look through that as well. A few more place descriptions - just small ones, not like massive paragraphs or anything - would be great. Please write a sequel - her romance with Mark is a letle TOO perfect at the moment, if you get me. :D
PoorEnglishArtist 2008-06-06 ch 9,	abuseAbout the french: It's "ma chérie" because she's a girl - if she weer a guy that would be quite fine, minus the accent on the 'e', but since he's referring to HER, you have to use the feminine form. :D 'tis quite an awesome story though!
PoorEnglishArtist 2008-06-06 ch 8,	abuseI've always been taught that with spanish, they generally don't say the subject, unless it's for emphasis (like: SHE's called Sam, I'M called Emily). But the rest of the spanish part was fine!
PoorEnglishArtist 2008-06-06 ch 4,	abuseThis is a good story, well written, but you get some of your tenses mixed up. Do look over it! and saw that I have no battery left = and saw that I had no battery left. You need to decide whether you're doing this in past tense or present, because at the moment, it's a mix that gets a bit confusing at times. heals = heels (when you're talking about shoes)
miss.ex.everything 2008-05-29 ch 21,	abuseOkay, I don't if I reviewed this at all, but I just read the entire thing in the last two days and I think it's really great. I hope you hurry up with the sequel! So, I don't think Lily should fall for "O" but something should happen that makes her go away from Mark. Like, and this is just a suggestion, "O" could threaten to kill Mark unless Lily gets together with him. So really, they still love each other, even though Lily has to go with "O" and act like she's in love with him to keep him from killing Mark, but then eventually Mark finds out, like he finds a letter from "O" to Lily or something, and then he and his slayer friends and Eve fight them again and Lily is with Mark the end. Aw!
Rachel-R15 2008-05-23 ch 21,	abusePlease, do keep writing! This story is fantastic. I'm not normally a fan of vampires but once I started reading I couldn't stop. I can't wait for the sequal. You said you got a review wanting Lily to fall for "O"... I think it would be interesting if maybe she was kidnapped or something. Anyways, keep up the good work! Can't wait for the next one.
belle1220 2008-05-15 ch 21,	abuseHey, I really enjoyed this story. One suggestion though would be to change the Drama sub-category or main category to Supernatural. I was thrown for a little bit of a loop when I originally read that they were vampires, but it wouldn't have been such a shock if one of the sub-categories or even the main category was supernatural. For the sequel, I'm really hoping that you keep Lily and Mark together. Maybe you can even give Pete a relationship with either Janie or Eve, but keep Lily/Mark the main focus.
EvilAngelKitty 2008-05-10 ch 21,	abuseWow! I just read all the chapters of this. It's an awesome story. Very good!
Last.Real Record Store onEa... 2008-04-30 ch 21,	abuseOh. My. God. Amazing. I read this instead of writing a history report, and let me tell you, it was SO worth it. Mark is such a darling, and Lily is just awesome! I love this, and I can't wait for a sequel! Congrats! xoxo ([favorites])

Return to Top