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| Princess-anna57 2008-03-29 ch 1,  | abuseVery nice poem! :) Hehe. Write on! ~Anna~ ^_^ |
| 123454321 2008-03-09 ch 1, | abuseCute, but a bit cliche. The subject matter, that is; not how you worded it. First line, second stanza; I really like that his smile is a disease. Like something you can't get rid of. -J.A. Courtesy of the review marathon (link on profile). |
| alittlebitconfused 2008-03-04 ch 1, | abuseOh! It's so sweet! It was so happy until the last stanza, and then it was sad... It's really good though! |
| xDancingintheRainx 2008-03-04 ch 1, | abuseUsually, I'm not very fond of repetition, but it works really well for this piece. I like the fact that you didn't just use the same phrase over and over again when you used your repetition, but you mixed it up some. That really adds something special to the piece and it keeps your reader from getting bored. Nicely done. Thanks for the review! |
| sweets555 2008-03-01 ch 1, | abuseCute. I know a guy like this, and when he smiles everyone else in the room feels better. |
| Catcher in the Rye 2008-02-23 ch 1, | abuseThis waas really beautiful and i like it cuz I can relate. I know someone exactly like the person you're describing in these lyrics. |
| VegasGoddess 2008-02-23 ch 1, | abuseAw... that was so sweet! Makes me wan to hug you... I miss you. Lots. I just wanted you to know that... and this only makes me miss you more. Love you! It was really, really good. ♥~Grissom's Sweetheart~♥ |
| simpleplan13 2008-02-21 ch 1, | abuseI love the repetition of the smile it brings the point home... it's a really sweet poem I few things though the disease simile was kinda odd because disease has such a negative connotation... and the last stanza doesnt flow right... like if you read it out loud as a sentence... maybe change the last line to I miss your smile the most? I dunno I feel like of everything leads to something the most if that makes sense Anyhow I really like the piece.. as I said it's quite sweet and I think we all know ppl this could describe.. great job |
| Katrina Zeffirelli 2008-02-21 ch 1, | abuseI love it and can relate so much... =\ Great poem- the only thing that could use a little work is the rhythm, but it's very good. May I suggest- within each line, count the syllables, and then for each group of lines (in your case it was 4), design a pattern of the syllables (example: 5,7,5,7 or something like that). That helps a lot with the flow. =) Keep up the great work! --Katrina Zeffirelli |
| daretobe-dIfFeRnT 2008-02-21 ch 1, | abuseawh:) very nice and very sweet:) well done! |