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| xrho 2008-02-21 ch 1,  | abuseThe last line of this poem made me go back and reread the whole thing. Without it I would have just passed this by, not because it's not good, but because I try not to say anything when I don't have anything to say, and I'm only guessing that there is some overarching biblical/moral/religious reference here that I'm just incapable of understanding. "Love was the most complex to keep, the easiest to make / When Eve tempted the snake" though, that's a really intriguing spin. I wish you'd have explored that more... or maybe you can some other time; I'm glad even that you just threw it out there. I haven't quite got my finger on it yet - but it definitely bears thinking about, not to mention that it's just a great line anyway. Anyway... do you ever write free verse? Because it seems to me that you're more interested in the substance of what you're saying than in a form or scheme (never a bad thing), and there's little point in rhyming every line if you're going to ignore the metre at the same time... it just seems like an outdated needless limitation forced on an interesting, thoughtful, contemporary writer (I'd say postmodern, but someone would probably be annoyed at me =P). Nice work, anyway, even if I can only comment on a bit of it. =) |