FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| simpleplan13 2008-02-23 ch 1,  | abuseOk I like each piece.. they're nicely done, but I'm missing the connection... I guess it's goodbyes, but the first is more about saying goodbye and the second is about memories.. if you wanna keep them together Id make 2 separate chapters... Goodbye -I liked this a lot.. it's very sad and well done and I love the ending the idea of not saying good-bye because it makes things real is something we can all relate too -A few things First times, last times,... I think firsts, lasts says the same thing, but less wordy and repetitive If I do it will be the end... If I do, it Friends -This piece is very sweet.. I like how it starts out with the question and then it basically answers the question... it's a wonderful description of friendship -One thing...When I broke up with you-know-who,... it seems kinda childish to say with you know who.. I'd probably just say through love and heartbreak, which also works with smile and cry.. just a thought Anyhow really well done.. I like them a lot PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon... there's a link in my profile |
| kloun doll 2008-02-22 ch 1, | abuseI like my friend, it's a poem pretty angst. I can understand what you mean. |