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| Jesusfreak43091 2008-07-01 ch 1,  | abusewow, that kinda hits home...this is a really true poem. America has changed so mcuh from what it first was and we should turn it back to that, if that made sense lol however, certain parts didn't flow very well, for example : How justified our soldier’s lives, to wave. that line seems out of place because the other lines are so short and don't have as many syllables, small things like that i also don't like the italicized america after each stanza. it seems un needed and out of place, and in a way, it also messes with the flow i do however, like the format as well as the words chosen. the words are descriptive and give a clear picture as to what you're saying and the format seems to fit perfectly for this poem over all, it's well written =] |
| R.E.D. the animator 2008-06-16 ch 1, | abuseI reviewed, so I ROCK! Ha ha ha! You are so right! "But for our greed, We have lost our health." This contry just doesn't have enough greed these days. That's why people would rather be given money by the government rather than going out and earning it the greedy way. |
| Adanael 2008-05-16 ch 1, | abuseit depicts what has happened over the years pretty well |
| Ms. Critic 2008-03-18 ch 1, | abuseI get the point your making with how greedy and rude Americans are, there are still a lot of good things out there. New medicines are being developed that are saving the lives of children, people have jobs, and most of all ordinary people are realizing what it takes to keep themselves and their families happy. I'm not saying you have a good idea, but it does seem like kind of a one-sided view. |
| Tranquil Thorns 2008-03-15 ch 1, | abuseI like your honesty. Nowadays a lot of this is true. =/ I like how you put this in poem-form (and made it rhyme, too!) as opposed to taking the easy way and writing a rant. Nice ending. =P |
| just.beth 2008-02-26 ch 1, | abuseI liked it. The ending bit was my favorite part. |
| Talia 2008-02-22 ch 1, anon. | abuseTrue, how true. It's not that bad of a poem, it just doesn't act like one. LOL. But really, it's a good post. |
| fleur de l'est 2008-02-22 ch 1, | abuseHey... don't be so mean to yourselves. America IS beautiful. (No sarcasm.) |
| daretobe-dIfFeRnT 2008-02-22 ch 1, | abuselol well someone had to say it ahaha well done, its really goodXD keep that honesty that you have goingXD |