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| sunshineofyourlife 2008-02-25 ch 1,  | abusecan i just say...best line ever:: "It's time for me to write a better chapter 'Cause I'm still lookin' for an ever after" this is beautiful. i like the idea of a book of your life. almost like you're measuring it with love. i like it. Keep Writing, -Sunshine |
| simpleplan13 2008-02-22 ch 1, | abuseCause should be 'Cause I like the piece a lot.. the metaphor between your life and and a book is really interested and well done... it's really wonderful However I wish the piece had more... it's really only 3 stanzas... since you repeat 2 of them.. I wanted more maybe another stanza or a little variation in the stanzas you repeat.. something Anyhow it's still a really sweet and well done piece PS If youre bored today check out the review game's review marathon there's a link in my profile |
| sticks stones and TECHNO 2008-02-22 ch 1, | abuseThis is really good :) |
| S. M. Saves 2008-02-22 ch 1, | abuseThe piece starts out very nicely but more or less stops after the third stanza. The repetition of stanzas one and two are a bit "unwelcomed" since the poem is so short. Not that they wouldn't be great if the poem was extended a couple more stanzas. What about before homecoming? What about after? There is so much that you can add while keeping with the same theme. |