|Reviews for In The End|
| rassoodock 8/7/08 . chapter 4
what i liked-besides your style, i liked the callous nature of your mc. it fits her well and ties into the story just as well. the mc is well written.
what i didnt-it can be over-the-top dramatic and tense at some points. i think that if you keep it up like that the whole way, it could turn some people off. i understand that its in the nature if the story itself, but you can get carried away.
| rassoodock 8/7/08 . chapter 3
what i liked-your style is still fantastic. you have a good head on your shoulders when it comes to writing and how to make a story flow.
what i didnt-the action scene was cheesy to me. it was all "pow!" "grr!". i suppose it's difficult ass-kicking in writing, but i think with a bit of revision, you could do it.
| rassoodock 8/7/08 . chapter 2
what i liked-your style is amazing. your descriptions are fantastic and vivid and flow well.
what i didnt-the plot line seems a bit vague to me. i cant really figure out where this is going. i suppose most supernatural stuff floats past me a bit.
| rassoodock 8/7/08 . chapter 1
rg- chapter one
what i liked- the beginning. it had a good, dreamy feel to it with just enough crunch of supernatural suspense. that, and your writing style was superb.
what i didnt- im not a big fan of third person. it's a preference, i suppose.
| mikey magee 8/7/08 . chapter 1
Great imagery! I loved how you infused the main character's surondings with her emotions. Very nice technique!
| Daphne.Claire 8/7/08 . chapter 10
great story cant wait for your next ch.
| reconstructing aphrodite 8/6/08 . chapter 4
i like alex! alot!
| reconstructing aphrodite 8/6/08 . chapter 3
shes a bitch i love her xD
| reconstructing aphrodite 8/6/08 . chapter 1
this is really cool. im hooked.
| magllena 8/6/08 . chapter 1
Yay for the new update! I can't wait for the next. I am really liking this story.
| Recontre Destinee 8/6/08 . chapter 1
Review game! (Sorry it's late, I was at a class last night... btw, I'm an oboist too. :-) Kinda lame thing to point out, but I giggled and was grateful to see more than one on the planet. XD)
I LOVE the opening. It's amazing and really grabs me. Your descriptive writing is great, I had no doubt what was going on.
Hm... I love the mystery as to why Jaime is now calling herself Eyra, it's intriguing. However, I felt like the looking in the mirror device is cliched (and I've done it before, so I feel really hypocritical). A lot of writers use it, myself included, so it seems to be overused once you've read it five thousand times. So far, (I'm reviewing as I read), it's the only complaint I have.
All in all, great beginning. I can't wait to see where you're taking this!
| GenevievePlz 8/6/08 . chapter 3
Maybe it's just me, but I'm a little confused. xD
-goes to read more-
But the descriptions are really great. :)
| GenevievePlz 8/6/08 . chapter 2
Very nice chapter. One thing I would take into consideration would be to start explaning the 'City Overseer' thing a bit before starting in with the plot. It might lose some reader's attention if the story continues to be vague. I know it's only the second chapter, and I haven't read the next ones yet, so maybe you already did this, but it doesn't hurt to mention it. :3
Very good story. ;D
| GenevievePlz 8/6/08 . chapter 1
The beginning of chapter one really caught my attention and everything that happened afterword held it. I have to find out what happened and what will happen now. :3
| Arreana 8/5/08 . chapter 1
I actually read this last night, but was too tired to review. Anyways, I thought this was one of the best written stories I've seen on Fictionpress to date. I LOVED the way you described the dream, lost of feeling and imagery. I can't really think of anything negative to say, so I guess: just keep up the hard work!