I love the balloon metaphor... it's really original and well done... I also really like th first two lines of the second stanza... and the phrase "clarity of our plasticity" was awesome as well and the pendulum metphor was also very unique and well done, but my favorite was the ending about naming your lung after him.. thats such a powerful image and it relates back to the beginning which is great

I really liked the first part of this. The "breathe into me, I'll breathe into you" parts were really powerful. Very nice.

I do believe you mean "breathe" instead of "breath." I do love your first stanza, though - it was lovely.

-Christine