FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| just.because.lemonade.stand 2008-03-22 ch 1,  | abusenice job with this one too. i really liked it. KEPP WRITING! |
| Sexy vampirechick 2008-03-20 ch 1, | abuseI love this poem!It's written so well. I like the way you have one main word for each stanza.It was really good how you use the last line of each stanza as a sentence that connects the one above. Though the last stanza I didn't really get.Mainly the line "Force your fist".Other than that the poem is really great! Keep writing!! |
| simpleplan13 2008-03-20 ch 1, | abuseI like the repetition in this piece a lot... it flows reallywell. The only thing is the second two stanzas the line lengths flow beautifully, but the first two aren't as great with their last line. Anyhow nicely done and easy to relate too. |
| fleur de l'est 2008-02-23 ch 1, | abuseLike the rhythm and beat to the poem, the length of the lines is just right. Content-wise, not as depressing at first but the more I associated it with "family" the more depressing it got. Like the feeling to hypocrisy and rebellion. Well done! |
| perpetual questions 2008-02-22 ch 1, | abuseit has some potential, but I think it's too vague, though that could just be me. "Pretend like I don't exist," seemed to throw off the rhythm, maybe "Pretend I don't exist" would be better. Not bad. |