OwhatOwahtever... whatever

I really like the format and the play on different tenses... really great piece

beautiful descriptions... I love it.. especially the ending

This is my favorite so far... I love the part about the traffic of stars being read because they're dead that was beautiful and I also love the contradictions in the piece... it's really wonderful

A format thing:
A totally different imagination... i dont really think the a should be capitalized...

I also wish the last line was a bit longer... it just seemed way to short

But still it's an extremely well written and beautiful piece


PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon... there's a link in my profile

I like this.. again a great play on words with the "later than then" and "never more yet nothing less"... it's very bittersweet and well done

The only this is the flow seemed a bit off... some of the lines seemed too short and others too long...

Other than it was a really wonderful piece

PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon... there's a link in my profile

It's a short piece with a lot of emotion and I love the play on words you have in there repeating words in different tenses... that was really interesting

A few things:
braking given gave...breaking
Did you intentionally leave out the spaces after O? It looks liek you did, but Im not sure why...
Also I might put some commas in there when you group the words together... I think that might make it a bit easier to read

It's great that you're posting again... I hope you continue!

PS If you're bored today check out the review game's review marathon.. there's a link in my profile