OK I have to say this: LOVED IT! This is possibly one of the BEST short stories I've ever read! You are up there with Poe! The way you write absorbs me into the story like I'm actually witnessing it! If there was a rating system I would give you a 12 304 059/10 :P

I’m doing the Review Marathon today (link in my profile) and this is the first story I’ve read today…And I’m glad I read it really. But anyway, the first sentence is simple and it’s something people have always said but, it really made me interested in this story. Except a few sentences in I realized the person hitting Hennie wasn’t male, which made this story different from the others dealing with the same topic.

I like the short description you gave of the redhead especially his eyes, out of all the characters you mentioned that one stuck out to me the most…you threw it in so smoothly and it didn’t disrupt the overall story. I liked this. It was short and raw.

But one thing I’ll mention is the dialogue mentioning the definition of Hennie, it didn’t seem like someone in actuality would speak like that. That’s just my opinion on it though. Anyway, nice work.