aww very sweet.

aw cute n adorable

adorable, i loved it :]

this is so good! i wuldnt usualy read sumthin like this cuz i like really dark peotry and stuffs but this was good! are you going to update?

hi, love the story

Just one thing, I don't know if anyone has already pointed this out, but at first, you say '...few platinum blonde strands fell from her messy pile of hair...', but later on, you say '...the pretty brunette...'

I think that was all...anyways, the best of luck to you!

Laura
-x-

aw isn't that sweet..he come back for her..i like it...that is a good one shot...interesting...its could make a good story..but i like it otherwise..its very nice and clean...bye..bye...

I'm doing the Review Marathon right now (there's a link in my profile for more info). I saw in your summary that this is for school so I decided to read it. One thing I would do if I were is definitely re-write the first paragraph, it sounds really odd (mostly the last sentence). Watch your comma placement. You describe things really well especially the main character's actions/reactions. You need to watch out with the dialogue endings though e.g.:

“A visitor for you” The lady said with an emotionless face.

should be: “A visitor for you,” the lady said with an emotionless face.

The dialogue itself is nicely done to fit the time period, it doesn't seem out of place at all. I like the inclusion of the flashbacks as well. The story itself is pretty interesting, I've read things similar to this idea your version of it fits nicely. I think will get a decent grade/mark on this.