FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| paisley patterns 2008-03-12 ch 1,  | abusethis one is really quite great. even though i'm not crazy about the middle, i love the beginning and ending. they're simply fabulous darling. |
| Aomera 2008-02-24 ch 1, | abusethe last 3 lines are just wonderful. great imagery too. |
| doctor's diagnosis 2008-02-24 ch 1, | abuseI like it and I don't like it. Some parts I really like ("ours is strictly/business, white foam chokes/the circles hovering under/you), though I don't really like how kids and you are all alone. But some parts I don't like ("a full moon rises, we like to/pretend it's just for you"), I don't really like how thats broken up, I think it could be done better. I really like how the last word is all alone though. I don't know, maybe I'm just wierd. Good job, anyways, now that I've befuddled myself. Cheers, Rachel |
| Tytherpol 2008-02-24 ch 1, | abusei absolutely love it. everything except the summary. i almost didn't read it b/c of the summary. but wow. tomato holds such meaning to me. i love how you used it here. i used it in a poem once as "tomatoes splattered underfoot." i love the branches and the you except i'm not sure if i like the repeated 'stars' anyway just wow. great job |